January 1, 2009
Noise Free America
For immediate release
Madison: Joonas Saaranen, a German industrial design student, has won this month’s Noisy Dozen award from Noise Free America for inventing the “boom box on a backback”–the 21st century’s new boom box, Saarenen’s invention threatens the peace and quiet of sidewalks and neighborhoods everywhere.
The “Reppo II Boom box Backpack” is a “20 hardshell backback with an integrated high-quality digital amplifier and a pair of coaxial speakers.” According to promotional materials, “This modern backback is sure to draw attention as you walk down the street–especially if you’ve got the volume cranked up. You see those big black patches? They’re loud-speakers. The Reppo II backback features a built-in pair of full-range speakers and an amplifier, so you can kick out the jams as you walk down the street. The only better thing would be if that big black patch were a subwoofer. Of course, that might shatter your vertebrae if you turned up the volume too much.”
Advertised as “the boom box of the 21st century,” the Reppo II Boom Box Backyard promises noisemakers the chance to “inflict your musical taste upon everyone in your path.” Noisemakers are advised to “forget the battery-thirsty boxy monstrosities with twin tape decks. Say good-bye to all the uber-lame cheap computer speakers that end up as a horribly and dangly mess of wires once you pull the whole thing out of your backback. Jam out to some sweet tunes while you’re cruising on your longboard with your buddies on the boulevards. Take it to a picnic with your significant other. Just sip some beers in the park with your buddies and enjoy a barbecue. Or just grab your Reppo II from the bar cloakroom, blast some Bob Marley, enjoy the sunrise, and take over the park with an after-party of a lifetime.”
Mike Smith, head of Noise Free Virginia, commented that “IPods with earbuds give decent folks a break from other people’s loud music. Just plug in your IPod and crank it up. But now, once again, someone has dreamed up an invention that allows disrespectful persons to carry their LOUDNESS with them wherever they go. It never ceases to amaze me how Corporate America embraces and promotes such devices that blatantly disturb the peace of millions–not to mention violate noise ordinances everywhere. This new backpack speaker system is nothing more than the older hand-held boom boxes of the 1980s that rattled our windows and nerves until they were banned by local noise laws. When will people wake up and stop dreaming up such anti-social devices?”
Noise Free America’s director, Ted Rueter, commented that “this new ‘blaster on your back’ is yet another threat to public health and welfare. Increasingly, Americans seem to think that public space is a cesspool, where people can swear, smoke, litter, spit, be rude, and make noise. The ‘boom box on a backback’ will increase noise levels and agitation levels. No one has the right to blast their loud, obnoxious music at passers-by. This product should be banned before it infiltrates every community and neighborhood in the country.”
Noise Free America is a national citizens organization opposed to noise pollution. Past “winners” of the Noisy Dozen award include Echo Manufacturing, Pioneer Electronics, and Dollar General.